Featured Article:
Child's
Play for Moms and Dads
By
Jennifer Wolf
Picture this: Your four-year-old
is standing by your side, asking (for about the
sixth time today) "Mommy, can we play dolls
now?"
What's your response? If you're
like many multi-tasking moms and dads, it goes
something like this:
"In a minute." "After I finish what I'm
working on right now." "Why don't you watch a
show and I'll let you know when I'm ready?"
Unfortunately, for many parents
and children, that time never comes. There is
just too much else to do. And believe me, I'm
right there with you! I'm not for a minute
trying to criticize your time management skills
or suggest that if you're a mom who resists
playing with her kids, you're a "bad mother."
You're not. I will say this,
though: Each one of us misses out when we get
to the end of the day, or even the end of the
week, and we realize that we never did find
those few spare minutes we were waiting for.
See, here's the thing:
We feel better when we play with our kids.
Entering their world through play gives us a
deep sense of connection. In addition, for us,
playing offers much-needed relief from our
pressure-filled schedules and To Do Lists. It
allows us a different perspective, one that we
can't find from simply
thinking about
playing with our kids. We get that new
perspective when we actively engage in playing
together and pay attention to how we feel as a
result.
Do it! Spend just twenty minutes
today playing with your children and see what
you notice about how you feel and about how your
children behave (before, during, and after your
play time).
My own observations are that I
feel more at peace, and whatever it was that I
thought I needed to get done actually gets done
in a smaller amount of time. It's as if the act
of making the time to play creates a shift that
magically opens up my schedule so that I can
accomplish the other tasks I had identified as
important or even critical.
I say it's magical, but what I
observe about my children's play provides a
reasonable explanation. In the hours after I
invest in playing together, I notice that my
children are consistently better able to play on
their own! They are more apt to initiate their
own play, and they spend longer stretches of
time playing independently. For example, my
four-year-old will decide on her own to play
with Play-doh or play "school" with her stuffed
animals, and
she'll do it for a much longer period of time
than I expected! As a result, this frees
me up to accomplish some of those things that
had previously caused me to put off playing with
her in the first place!
As with all of the advice I share
with parents, I strongly advise you to test this
theory out for yourself! Spend some time this
week playing
with your children, and observe the impact that
precious time has on you and on them.
Jennifer Wolf is a Certified Parent Coach®
and the owner of
Pathways Parent Coach, LLC. She also
runs a free weekly support call for Christian
moms every Tuesday through her blog,
www.faithinparenting.com. In addition,
Jennifer
writes content for the
Single
Parents site on
About.com's Parenting Network.
Jennifer and her husband, Christopher, have two
children, ages 8 and 4.
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